It is helpful to look at the relationship between love and self-will. Self-will is the overriding demand to put ourselves first, do as we like, think what we want, and get whatever we desire, no matter what the cost might be to those around us. The more self-will we have, the harder it is to love. So in order to love, we have to reduce self-will. If not, we are not learning to love. The less self-willed we are, the more detached we become – not from others, but from ourselves. Without detachment from ourselves, we get easily caught up in our own reactions. The more detached we are from ourselves, the easier it is to remember the needs of others, without which love is impossible.
Mind is like a seesaw, constantly in motion, swinging up when things go the way we like and swinging down when things do not go the way we like. As self-will subsides and detachment rises, this seesaw motion becomes less and less. When the mind is still, there is no self-will, no separateness, and no sense of compulsion. We live in unity, and the natural expression of unity is love.
When your mind is still always- twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, not only in waking life, but even in your dreams-then, says God “You will live in Me continuously, absorbed in Me, beyond any shadow of a doubt.” This is a state that is almost impossible to describe in words, but there are certain signs. For one, your awareness of the God will be unbroken. In a sense you will be meditating wherever you go.
In personal relationships, there will be no conflict, no doubts, no reservations no irritations. You will not need to prompt or force your love, and you will need no reason for loving, or trusting or forgiving. Love seeks no cause beyond itself and no fruit; it is its own fruit, its own enjoyment. I love because I Love; I love in order that I may Love
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